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My child is crying,
I'm dying inside,
I tried to be strong but I'm weak,
No can I also tried but I just feel rejected,
My heart bleeds,
My heart has wounds,
"I’ll say I’m ok when they ask",
While I have hidden bruises on my face,
I'm wearing a red lipstick of anger,
My face is nothing but a mask,
Just can't handle this anymore,
I'm just a rejected soul!
I cried out louder,
I shouted,
I screamed,
I prayed,
But still this is a heavy burden,
Just can't offload the burden,
Tried to escape through puppy relationships
this doesn't work
I think I'm cursed this doesn't work
even tried dating another race just to console
myself,
I'm still angry with myself,
A Mama Africa like me,
Conscious being like me,
Who always preach system this, system that
I think
was demon possessed but that was the only way to escape my pain,
the anger that I have was part of consolation
but not temptations
maybe to him it was an experiment,
Investigation,
He wanted to puff and pass well your dream came
true,
You polluted my melanin,
You took my energy,
And I donated them to you.
Mama can you hear me crying
I need you hold my hands
this days your burden has turn to be another
people's burden,
Mama why you gave birth to me?
I curse the day I was born,
Look at me now I'm a problem child,
I'm alive but I'm dead inside
My
feelings are rotten, is a dirty scavenger,
Sometimes can't skip a day without crying
Because I'm just a rejected soul fatherless,
motherless adopted child,
You were just a carrier thank you for that I
don't blame my father
Because
he died long time ago,
I tried
to escape through Art they told me does not pay,
Is hard work but no gain,
There's no investment,
But just a hobby, time
wasting and cash flow
Just can't savor without it
if it was not there I will be the past my mementos’
Will be their remembrance,
I give my all to poetry,
When I die cover my funeral
box with poetry devices,
Don’t be scared say it in my Obituary that I'm
a poet.
Mama recently have developed
inner anger,
I'm changing don't care about people's feelings
anymore
I care for myself, I'm in
pain,
My heart is paining, my
heart is freezing,
My heart has moving worms
they are alive moving daily,
"Ngiyayiphetha indima" I'm
rejected
Because my mother was a carrier not a care
giver,
I wonder how motherly love
taste likes,
I have a strong desire for
it hands
Why I keep loving, trying to taste love but
can't find one,
Instead I curse myself more,
Hurt myself more and more
this is piling now,
I’ll explode soon.
Rejected soul
Phumzile Phumgirl.
Copyright 2016
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